As we’ve taught many places, including the FREE online class, there are 3 Components of Trust- integrity, communication and COMPETENCE! This is something we often don’t consider when we feel frustrated in our marriage- that the bottom-line problem may just be that trust is low and it may be low for a very good reason- you aren’t competent!
Does this mean there’s something wrong with you? NO! Does it mean you are a bad person? NO! But it DOES mean that you are missing an important skill that you need in your marriage. Maybe finances aren’t going so well, or maybe the trouble is parenting or maybe you keep overeating.
Here’s the thing- your spouse loves you. They want to trust you. They want to help you. But you have to get your pride out of the way. You have to stop pretending like you have the answers and know how to fix things because if you did – they would be fixed!
Problems persist because we haven’t learned the lesson they hold for us. Our challenge to you this week to look honestly at your life and marriage and ask yourself where trust is lower than it ought to be. Then have the courage to truthfully analyze yourself and ask, “Is my competence low in this area? Do I really know how to do this well or not?”
And if the answer is NO, commit to yourself and your spouse to do the work to learn how to do it well. We PROMISE, just the willingness to be honest that you’ve got more to learn and the commitment to begin will increase the trust right away. Then keep going, gain the competence and watch the trust in your marriage SOAR!