Do You Keep Private Things Private?

February 7, 2018 11:17 pm

We want to look good to the people around us! There’s nothing wrong with that – we all feel that way. We want everyone to have the best perception possible of us. 

Yet, things sometimes happen in our homes, when we are tired or stressed or overwhelmed – when we were at our worst – that we would really rather not have other people know. This is very understandable! This is when we need to trust our to keep these things private and not to tell others what they don’t need to know.

Through the years that we struggled with Blaine’s addiction it was tough not to cry on all my friends’ shoulders but I just kept asking myself how I would feel if I were Blaine’s shoes. If I had the kind of struggle that he had, would I want everyone to know? Of course not! That’s what helped me to honor his trust and wait until I felt I couldn’t bear it alone any longer and then I let him decide who I could talk to. 

Although there can be rare times when we or our children aren’t safe and we need to seek outside help immediately, almost always those things that we are angry or frustrated or resentful about in our spouse are things that could and should be handled discreetly. 

Gossiping about your spouse to others can never do anything but make a bad situation worse. You want them to help you look your best in the eyes of others, you owe it to them to do the same!

Our CHALLENGE this week is to 1) stop gossiping if you have been, 2) apologize to your spouse if you have breached the trust and promise to do better and 3) DON’T GOSSIP ANYMORE!

You made a promise when you married them that they could trust you with anything. KEEP THAT TRUST!!

Are You Struggling to LOVE Your Spouse?

January 17, 2018 6:17 pm

LOVE…it’s the whole point of marriage isn’t it?!

Because we were in love we got engaged, because we kept feeling in love we got married and staying in love with our spouse is what we want to experience for the rest of our lives. But for many of us, those intense feelings of love can fade over time.

Like when our spouse seems to disregard our feelings or act like a jerk or nag us eternally, we lose patience and feel more annoyed than in love! If this goes on for years, its easy for resentments to build and the love we once felt to seem lost forever.

What do we do?!!!

Would you believe it’s as simple as taking loving actions? We know, you probably think that it’s your spouse that needs to do the changing and you’re probably right but that doesn’t mean you can’t be the catalyst for change! 

Here’s how it works: we each are blessed with a natural reward system – certain actions bring certain emotions. That’s how we are wired. So when you exercise, you feel better about yourself. In the same way, when you do something nice for someone – even your spouse – you feel love toward them. The bigger the sacrifice, the harder the task, the more you love the person you’re serving.

In this video we share stories and examples of how this works and encourage you to try it out! Test us! See what happens!

You’ve got nothing to lose and a happy marriage to win!

When Is the Worst Time to Argue With Your Spouse?

June 22, 2017 11:36 pm

Arguing with your spouse seems to be an inevitable element of marriage. Hopefully your arguments are civil and considerate rather than screaming matches. Kindness should always be the goal in our marriages, even when we are angry.

That being said, there will still be times when we don’t see eye to eye or difficult decisions will need to be made. There are many key tools and strategies to handling these trying times in marriage so that your difficulties can be worked out in a way that makes your relationship stronger.

Through our online course and coaching program, we work through many of these communication skills but for today’s post we want to tackle an important element of argument – WHEN you argue.

We make the case that there are many arguments in marriage that are avoidable NOT through the use of tactics and skill sets but simply by timing them right. There are definitely times not to discuss important issues and when you honor that, you’ll find you just don’t fight as much as you used to.

Take our word for it – we’ve been there, in the argument that didn’t need to happen, at the wrong time and realizing later how avoidable it all was! We were doing damage to our marriage for no good reason. Don’t do that to your spouse – marriage is hard enough!

Set aside time and discuss your problems at the RIGHT time and you’ll find it’s SO much easier to work things out in loving ways!

Is Your Parenting Hurting Your Marriage?

June 1, 2017 10:43 pm

For couples with children, parenting is a HUGE part of the marriage relationship. It’s difficult, it’s stressful and it’s highly emotional. You both want good things for you children but the way you get there may be completely opposite. And when it is, it can be a breeding ground for difficulties in your marriage.

We could go on all day about all the different problems that can and will arise from opposing parenting approaches. Parenting in marriage is a massive topic we don’t have time to cover in one short video.

But in this episode, we focus on one specific element of parenting that seems to affect the marital relationship the most. Fortunately, it’s something you can work on today!

We’ve all been in that situation where one of our children is arguing with our spouse – and our spouse is starting to get super ticked off. We can see the tension rising as the two of them come head to head in an argument. Sometimes, this confrontation turns into a situation and consequences that we disagree with.

So what do you do?

This video answers that question!

Why Your Differences Are a Good Thing!

May 17, 2017 11:35 pm

It’s not a super popular thing to say in today’s world – with all of our ‘political correctness’ – but it’s still a scientifically proven FACT that men and women are different. It’s not just that their biology is different, it’s been shown time and again that women and men think, process information and feel VERY differently!

Unfortunately, we often see these differences as problems rather than what they really are – ADVANTAGES! Maybe its because we have the sameness of the genders shoved down our throats all the time, maybe its because we aren’t trained to think this way, maybe its because of how we were parented. Whatever the reason, we need to accept the fact that men and women are different and…THAT’S A GOOD THING!

Life would be so boring if we thought the same way all the time. There’s so much spice and variety that is brought to a male-female relationship because of our differences. In many real ways, we complete each other. These differences empower us to be more than we are just by ourselves. In a marriage, we have the ability to unite and overcome anything precisely because we each have unique ways of approaching and solving problems.

We challenge you to take the time to get to know some of the differences between men and women and explore why those differences make you stronger and better than you would be without your spouse. Learn to appreciate what your spouse brings to the marriage that helps you and your family.

Then BE SURE to let your spouse know how much you value who they REALLY are!