When Is the Worst Time to Argue With Your Spouse?

June 22, 2017 11:36 pm

Arguing with your spouse seems to be an inevitable element of marriage. Hopefully your arguments are civil and considerate rather than screaming matches. Kindness should always be the goal in our marriages, even when we are angry.

That being said, there will still be times when we don’t see eye to eye or difficult decisions will need to be made. There are many key tools and strategies to handling these trying times in marriage so that your difficulties can be worked out in a way that makes your relationship stronger.

Through our online course and coaching program, we work through many of these communication skills but for today’s post we want to tackle an important element of argument – WHEN you argue.

We make the case that there are many arguments in marriage that are avoidable NOT through the use of tactics and skill sets but simply by timing them right. There are definitely times not to discuss important issues and when you honor that, you’ll find you just don’t fight as much as you used to.

Take our word for it – we’ve been there, in the argument that didn’t need to happen, at the wrong time and realizing later how avoidable it all was! We were doing damage to our marriage for no good reason. Don’t do that to your spouse – marriage is hard enough!

Set aside time and discuss your problems at the RIGHT time and you’ll find it’s SO much easier to work things out in loving ways!

Is Your Parenting Hurting Your Marriage?

June 1, 2017 10:43 pm

For couples with children, parenting is a HUGE part of the marriage relationship. It’s difficult, it’s stressful and it’s highly emotional. You both want good things for you children but the way you get there may be completely opposite. And when it is, it can be a breeding ground for difficulties in your marriage.

We could go on all day about all the different problems that can and will arise from opposing parenting approaches. Parenting in marriage is a massive topic we don’t have time to cover in one short video.

But in this episode, we focus on one specific element of parenting that seems to affect the marital relationship the most. Fortunately, it’s something you can work on today!

We’ve all been in that situation where one of our children is arguing with our spouse – and our spouse is starting to get super ticked off. We can see the tension rising as the two of them come head to head in an argument. Sometimes, this confrontation turns into a situation and consequences that we disagree with.

So what do you do?

This video answers that question!

Why Your Differences Are a Good Thing!

May 17, 2017 11:35 pm

It’s not a super popular thing to say in today’s world – with all of our ‘political correctness’ – but it’s still a scientifically proven FACT that men and women are different. It’s not just that their biology is different, it’s been shown time and again that women and men think, process information and feel VERY differently!

Unfortunately, we often see these differences as problems rather than what they really are – ADVANTAGES! Maybe its because we have the sameness of the genders shoved down our throats all the time, maybe its because we aren’t trained to think this way, maybe its because of how we were parented. Whatever the reason, we need to accept the fact that men and women are different and…THAT’S A GOOD THING!

Life would be so boring if we thought the same way all the time. There’s so much spice and variety that is brought to a male-female relationship because of our differences. In many real ways, we complete each other. These differences empower us to be more than we are just by ourselves. In a marriage, we have the ability to unite and overcome anything precisely because we each have unique ways of approaching and solving problems.

We challenge you to take the time to get to know some of the differences between men and women and explore why those differences make you stronger and better than you would be without your spouse. Learn to appreciate what your spouse brings to the marriage that helps you and your family.

Then BE SURE to let your spouse know how much you value who they REALLY are!

Are You Competent?

May 11, 2017 9:45 pm

As we’ve taught many places, including the FREE online class, there are 3 Components of Trust- integrity, communication and COMPETENCE! This is something we often don’t consider when we feel frustrated in our marriage- that the bottom-line problem may just be that trust is low and it may be low for a very good reason- you aren’t competent!

Does this mean there’s something wrong with you? NO! Does it mean you are a bad person? NO! But it DOES mean that you are missing an important skill that you need in your marriage. Maybe finances aren’t going so well, or maybe the trouble is parenting or maybe you keep overeating.

Here’s the thing- your spouse loves you. They want to trust you. They want to help you. But you have to get your pride out of the way. You have to stop pretending like you have the answers and know how to fix things because if you did – they would be fixed!

Problems persist because we haven’t learned the lesson they hold for us. Our challenge to you this week to look honestly at your life and marriage and ask yourself where trust is lower than it ought to be. Then have the courage to truthfully analyze yourself and ask, “Is my competence low in this area? Do I really know how to do this well or not?”

And if the answer is NO, commit to yourself and your spouse to do the work to learn how to do it well. We PROMISE, just the willingness to be honest that you’ve got more to learn and the commitment to begin will increase the trust right away. Then keep going, gain the competence and watch the trust in your marriage SOAR!


Are You Mad At Your Spouse or Your Job?

May 3, 2017 8:13 pm

Are you frustrated with your job? If so, we’re so sorry, we totally know how that feels! BUT…

Even though can be really hard to do, you CANNOT let a bad job interfere with having a happy home! Your family and especially your spouse don’t deserve to be punished because people at work aren’t treating you right, you don’t make as much money as you’d like to, you hate the project you’ve been assigned or you just don’t like the kind of work you’re doing every day.

So what can you do instead?

STEP 1- Take a few minutes every day on the way home from work to unwind and get into a good place so that when you walk through the door you’re ready to have a fun evening with your family.

STEP 2- Take some time alone to assess what the core problem is that’s getting you down at work. When you’ve isolated the problem, brainstorm some solutions.

STEP 3- Set aside some quiet time to discuss your thoughts and possible solutions with your spouse.

STEP 4- Make the necessary changes to your job situation so that it is not such a drain on your or your marriage!

Believe us, we know the incredible stress a bad job can put on a marriage and we know many couples struggle in their relationships just because of problems at work! Don’t let that be you!

Fix the problems at work and you’ll be fixing your marriage too!