Remember when you were a kid and you really wanted to do something that your parents might not approve? So you would think about the best way to describe it in order to make it sound better than it really was. Then you’d consider which parent to approach – meaning which parent was more lenient and more likely to give in. 🙂
What happened next? You’d go ask the lenient parent, they’d say yes and then at some point either before or after you got to do this thing you wanted to do, the other parent would find out and BLOW UP! You always hoped and prayed that the strict parent would find out after you did it, of course, because no one in the house wanted to be around when they discovered what you did.
Knowing this tale to be a true one, as parents you and I need to take seriously the importance of backing each other up. If you can’t always agree on rules and consequences then you need to take the time to talk things through and get more information if necessary. And if one of you hands out a punishment that the other doesn’t like, BACK-UP YOUR SPOUSE and then go where you can be alone and talk it through.
It’s not only important for the children that you back each other up, it’s critical for you marriage. It’s a key component of trust and unity – you’ve got to feel like your spouse is on your side and they’re going to support you in the tough decisions!